Walk Humbly...: 4 Years Into Forever!

Since today is Micah's 2nd birthday, that means it has also been exactly 4 years since we landed on US soil from China with our then newest son, Josiah. Those days are still such a blur. Filled with so much joy and so much sadness. Instead of taking our connecting flight from Chicago O'Hare to Washington Dulles, my Chicagoland brother Mike helped us pick up our rental minivan and Ricky and I drove 6 hours with 3 very tired, very jet lagged little ones to Louisville, Kentucky to say good-bye to their beloved Uncle Lance as he lay in a hospital room just hours from breathing his last breath on this earth. After they said their good-byes, I drove with Isaac, Emma, and Josiah to a nearby hotel where a dear friend was waiting to help me. Ricky stayed in the hospital with his mom for the next 24 hours plus until Lance stepped into eternity into his beloved Savior's arms. The days and weeks that followed seemed impossible to bear. We returned to Maryland to find a flooded house, with 2 boys that would make every second of the coming months difficult on their mama, plus a fierce little girl who persevered with a broken heart and many tears over the loss of her uncle. It was so hard. The word hard does not even come close to describing what those days held. But, God was there and He sustained us. He sustained Ricky through officiating his little brother's funeral. He sustained me through long days and even longer nights with Josiah. He sustained through an unexpected pregnancy that left me incredibly sick most days for months, unable to even keep an ice cube down. We were weary and we were worn. Then we packed up our life in Maryland and moved back to Ricky's old Kentucky home, as Ricky accepted the Senior Pastor position at Evergreen Baptist Church in Frankfort, Kentucky. Less than 2 months later, Micah was born and many sleepless nights of infancy later, we sit with our 2, 5, 6, and 8 year olds, finding their niches in this new world. When I take time to sit back and think about it, I am really proud of all of them. Isaac and Emma cried and cried for their home in Maryland, the only home they remembered. But, through tears, Isaac walked into Mrs. West's Kindergarten room in the middle of the school year. God provided him a sweet best friend and year after year since our move, one child has left Mrs. West's Kindergarten class and another has entered. God is with us and He always will be.

When I really first started to walk with the Lord halfway through college, I learned a lot about finding out what my spiritual gifts were and then living out those gifts in life and ministry. This is a good and Biblical teaching. But Jesus also tells His followers, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:23-25). This adoption journey has been so challenging. Pursuing Josiah's heart as a parent has been no job for the faint of heart. Motherhood in general has pushed me so far beyond any spiritual gift that has shown up on a spiritual gifts test for me. It seems that too often, I have just wanted to follow where my gifts would take me, but oftentimes, denying myself and taking up my cross and following Jesus has taken me far beyond that comfort zone and into the corner of the house with a blanket over my head pleading for God to be my strength in weakness. And He has and He always will. He will answer each time I call.

If God is asking you to do something impossible today, something close to His heart, some radical act of obedience, I pray that you will follow Him. There have been so many days with Josiah that I have felt at such a complete loss as to how to parent him and have grasped for wisdom and joy. But I also see how that little boy who fought me and fought me and fought me night after night and day after day, has grown and flourished and is struggling to reach the potential God has for him. Instead of sitting in an orphanage 7000 miles away, he followed his big brother and big sister's footsteps bravely into Mrs. West's class. He can read sight words (usually while doing flips off the couch!) and carries his favorite Bible verse in his heart ("But God shows His love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8), and he belongs in our family and he is a found treasure to us. God will answer and He will provide and He will sustain His children. He always has and He always will.