Let Me Be Singing When the Evening Comes

One of my favorite parts of any day when I am driving in the car with my kids is when we sing Matt Redman's '10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)' together.  The days when everyone sings and no one is complaining or whining or talking over the song sometimes take my breath away.  "Bless the Lord, O my soul...worship His holy name.  Sing like never before, O my soul, worship Your holy name.  The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning, it's time to sing Your song again, whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes..."  Sometimes after a really, really hard day, I especially think of the line 'let me be singing when the evening comes.'  Last night, I was walking Josiah home from church (I use the term 'walking' loosely...mostly because he was 'toddlering' me most of the walk home.  If you have a toddler, you know what I mean.  You know, making his body like dead weight and then laying down in the middle of the sidewalk instead of actually walking) and I started singing this song.  I think some of the people I passed on the way thought I was crazy, but I know God was walking with us.  He saw me struggling to walk the several blocks from church to our house and never once did He say the things I sometimes say to myself in moments like these.  He didn't tell me I was a terrible mother or that I was messing everything up.  He didn't become angry, like I often do in moments like these.  He saw us and He walked with us.

Through many of the trials of motherhood the past 5 1/2 years, I have asked God if He sees me.  If He sees me struggling and barely holding on and questioning Him entrusting me with my three children.  But, in the midst of praising Him, He reminded me that He is indeed always with me.  Sometimes that is the greatest encouragement we can remember as parents.  We are not alone.  On our walk home last night, Josiah was upset because I wouldn't let him walk with his bare feet on a part of the sidewalk that was covered with broken glass.  I carried him over it.  I protected him because I could see the big picture that he didn't understand.  And that is what God has done for me on this journey of motherhood, even in the moments I have tried to 'toddler' Him!

On Easter Sunday, Ricky had the privilege of baptizing Isaac.  This was a beautiful moment as Isaac made an outward profession of faith in Christ that he first made inwardly in his heart in our kitchen.  Isaac and I have had our struggles along the way too.  There were times and books and people who seemed to point me to the truth that I was indeed messing everything up.  But, take heart, God's Spirit is much bigger than our mistakes and He is working!  As we have told Isaac about God's love for him demonstrated in the truth that 'while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us' and that Christ defeated death on the 3rd day, God's Spirit has worked to implant that truth in his heart.  It was never up to us.  Every day has been about God's grace and mercy towards us and He has been merciful to reach Isaac's heart.

These two examples may seem worlds apart, but my greater hope in thinking through these events is to encourage those who are struggling today.  I wish I had all the answers for the moment by moment struggles of parenthood or singlehood or whatever struggle you find yourself in the midst of today, but I know God walks with His children.  I know you are not alone.  I know He sees you and that He loves you.  I know He is worthy of our praise and I hope that no matter what passes, we will stand together 'singing when the evening comes.'

Josiah's sweet smile on the other side of the struggle.

Ricky and Isaac preparing for Isaac's baptism.

Emma and I have had our fair share of power struggles too, but I want to note some sweet moments from her encouraging heart.  Sometimes she will tell me, 'you're beautiful, Mommy' or 'you are a beautiful Queen' or 'you're a precious treasure, too' and I don't want to let those moments pass from memory because sometimes it is easier to remember the discouragements.  It is important to carry these moments of encouragement in our hearts.